A Blow Up

I'm feeling kind of sad right now, because I just had a major blow up at Ben and I definitely got angrier than I should have. It's one of those bad autism days, not for him but for me. I thought writing about it would make me feel better. He chewed up my third dish drain stopper and now I have to go buy another one and I just bought one yesterday!! He pulls them out of the sink and chews the rubber part on the bottom until it won't hold the water anymore. Everytime I see him try to do it I stop him and tell him no, but he did it without me looking and I was so mad. And then I put him in the playroom and he tore one of his board books into a hundred tiny little pieces all over the playroom floor. He didn't do it to spite me, he just likes to destroy books. Its as if he looks for ways to be as destructive as possible. I spent the other afternoon mounting all of his pictures on mat board and wrapping them in packing tape in an effort to make them safe from Ben so can use picture exchange again, but it didn't really matter. He's still finding ways to destroy them. I don't know if he'll grow out of this, but I sure hope so. I know it's not his fault.