School Starts Next Week

And frankly, it's not a moment too soon. I am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. Ben has had a really good day today, except for a huge tantrum during the second half of mass when I ran out of lollypops and the nursery was closed so we actually had Ben in the church with us. There is no cry room. But Rob took him out, and the girls and I sat in for the rest of mass. Poor Rob, he said Ben was as upset as he's ever seen him. But aside from that, I had most of the afternoon alone with him, and he seems to be connecting better, making good eye contact, and laughing with me when we sang songs and played play dough together. I got some new enzymes in the mail yesterday, and I'm going to get really serious about them now. I hope that I can eventually take him off his Gluten free diet with the help of the enzymes, if I start to see improvement. I'm also starting a new brand of vitamins, just in time for the start of school. Rob and I seem to go back and forth with regard to optimism about the prospect of Ben's improvement. Some days, I feel yes, he'll eventually learn all the things he's supposed to and will be able to take care of himself as an adult, and other days, I'm just not so sure. I think he'll probably have to be in a special education classroom for at least the first few years of elementary school. I always wonder if he could be making more improvements if I'd just push myself a little more to create learning experiences for him. That's just one of the things thats always on my mind. Sometimes being a mom is hard.

A Good Day, all around

Rob's been off this entire week. It's great having company and the kids love having him around too. Today we found this awesome park in Burlington, complete with a carousel, a train and several amusement rides geared towards the under six set. It's run by the city of Burlington so the rides were really reasonable. Ben loved the carousel especially, and tried to pull me to go on it a second time. We let the girls try the other kiddie rides without him, as I don't trust him to stay seated and safe without an adult beside him. A family intake coordinator from the ARC came over today after we got back and we received good news about getting respite care for Ben. We qualify! Yay! We get 25 hours a month of care from them, at a extremely reasonable rate. I'm definitely taking them up on their offer. I would love to have someone just play with him while I do things around the house or with the girls. I always feel guilty because I don't play with him very much, and when he's not actively being played with, he has no focus at all. He will wander around the house looking for things to spin or chew, or to drop on the floor. I need to play with him more. I guess I just get tired of my overatures being rejected, but I can't give up and I need to motivate myself for his sake. Tomorrow, if all goes well, it will be off to the zoo for us.