Post Christmas Reorganization

Hello everyone, we're doing okay today. Ben is spinning things in the other room and the girls are playing (mysteriously) upstairs. I've run out of enzymes for Ben and guess what? He's started chewing wood again, along with everything else, like plastic dinosaurs or Ken's hands and feet, much to the girls dismay. Enzymes aren't cheap, and I was trying to see if I could wean him off of them, but I guess I got my answer when the chewing started again. So I ordered more. I can't wait for school to start back, though it has been nice not having to drive someone to or from school all the time. Sometimes it seems I'm in the car all day long. Ben enjoyed his Christmas, and he did much better at Kathy's than I expected him to. He seemed content and didn't try to leave the house by pulling us to the door. He's doing even better at pointing and I've been practicing it with him every day. He's really enjoyed his sand and water table, but I put it out on the deck so it will be an outside thing. I'll have to get some birdseed to put in it because he throws the rice that I put in the water side all over the place. This morning he got a hold of a bottle of nail polish that one of the girls got in their stocking and got it all over the wood floor. Luckily, it does scrape up, but it's just tedious work to do. Sometimes its just one thing after another. But Happy New Year everyone, I hope it's a great one!

Look What Ben Did!

But I Don't Know How He Found the Food Dye . . .

Ben is purple. Really. I bought some neon colored food colorings the other day at Harris Teeter and Ben found it. The purple one anyway. I gave him a good bath and he looks a little better than he does in this picture, but he's still stained purple, and seems to be oblivious to it. I hope he's back to normal by Christmas, or there will be some pretty interesting pictures out of it. Rob and I tried to make light of it, because he actually did look quite funny, but in the back of my mind I know had it been something more dangerous than food coloring we could have been in real trouble. I don't know how he got to it. I had it up on the shelf. The only thing I can think is that I must of left that purple bottle somewhere where he found it. But he's getting so tall, he can reach a lot of things he couldn't reach before. He's helped himself to the Christmas cookies on the counter more than once!

Thankful for 2005

I find that, just like Oprah has always said, gratitiude is the way to happiness. I'm trying to instill this in the girls, but it's a hard concept for a child to comprehend. Appreciating what you have just doesn't seem to be as much fun as getting more stuff to them. But as I've gotten older, I realize just how important it is to take stock of what you have, and to be thankful that you have it. So here it goes, my list of thankfulness for 2005. First of all, I'm thankful for my family, both immediate and extended. My children are wonderful, and I couldn't ask for a better husband. He is awesome (as my mother in law recently pointed out!). Katherine is so smart and sweet, Caroline is also smart, passionate and friendly, and Ben, despite his disabilities, is a bright and loving little boy. I am so thankful we traveled to Europe this year, that I finally got to see London and Paris, and I think about them often. We couldn't have made the trip without the help of our family! I am also very thankful for the ARC, who provided us with Hannah and Julia, our respite care workers, towards the end of this year. It is so nice to have some needed help. All in all, I have a wonderful life. I resolve to try to be a more patient person this year, which isn't one of my strong points. I will try to be more mindful of details and to remember, children are delicate! I tend to rush around and not enjoy the process of being a mom and that simply has got to stop. Being a mom is my most important job and I intend to do it well and mindfully, as well as appreciatively. Here's to gratitude!

Encouraging progress. . .

Well, Ben made a little improvement last night while I was reading to him before Ben. I usually ask him to point to things in the book as I'm reading, mostly to get him to actually look at the book while I read instead of looking around the room. I used to have to do hand over hand with him and literally MAKE him point, as he would not do it on his own. Lately, he's been responding to what I ask him to point to by putting his whole hand on the picture, not always the right picture, but at least he's doing something when I ask him to point. Last night I put his finger in a pointing position and helped him point and then in between questions, I noticed he was holding his hand in an L shape with his forefinger and thumb stuck out. The next time I asked him to point to something, he used his forefinger! I think he was really trying to figure out pointing but just couldn't make his hands do it on their own. Motor planning is still a hurdle for him, but I'm pleased with his progress!

Seems Like Rob's Been Gone Forever . . .

it really does. But I've been getting along okay. Katherine is sleeping with me while Rob and Caroline are in NYC, and of course she's been getting more attention than Ben has. What's that saying about the sqeaky wheel getting the oil? We'll Ben's not much of a squeaky wheel. I did manage to take the two of them to the mall on Saturday. WOW! Parking was such a hassle. I hate the mall at Christmastime. Do I sound like Scrooge? However, part of the draw was that the Southpoint mall has a cool playground indoors by the food court and we spendt a nice little time playing there. It is a perfect playground for Ben, and despite all the commotion and loud noises and crowds, he loves it. It's rare to find a playground that Ben can play in without finding something to stim on. There are a few "stim" objects that he visits for a minute or two, but for the most part, on that particular playground, he plays just like a regular boy his age. He climbs, slides, goes through tunnels, jumps, all the regular kid things. I love going to that playground if for nothing else that for a brief few minutes, it's hard to tell Ben is different than any other little boy. Katherine misses Caroline a lot, she's not used to having to entertain herself with a playmate. We can't wait to have Rob and Caroline back for good!

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Here's a recent dilemma: What does Santa Claus bring Ben? The girls are easy, they are very typical for their age and very vocal about what floats their boat, so to speak. I'm really trying my best not to overdo it this Christmas, but still make it nice for them. Ben is not so easy. In the past, I've given him learning toys, like shape sorters and peg boards, so that he can use them with me assisting him. Last year I made the mistake having Santa bring a train set (Geotrax), a basic one I thought he'd at least have a little interest in. WRONG! He could have cared less about the thing. At least in the past I couldn't go wrong with board books, but now all he likes is spinning things. So, what does Santa bring? Tops? He's actually got enough of those. Grandma and Grandpy gave him one for his birthday that he really likes. Now Ben could actually care less about Christmas or Santa. He doesn't get any of the anticipation the girls have. But for the girls sake and for his, Santa has to come up with something nice for Ben too. So I was pretty proud of myself when I came up with the idea for a sand and water table for our deck. They're not easy to find this time of year because they're seasonal, but I scrounged a pretty nice one up at Toys R Us. Ben absolutely LOVES sensory play and I figure we can use it for most of the year. I'll put birdseed in it instead of water until the winter is over, and there's no chance of freezing. That way there's no clean up. Yay! In my attempt to try to get Ben to play like a normal boy, I bought him a little remote control Wiggles Car. I don't know if he'll get it or not, but it's worth a try. Ben is also getting a Gearation toy, which is a toy with spinning gears, I hope it will be right up his alley. And Lucky Ducks, a rotating duck game for 3 to 6 year olds. I don't know if he'll understand that yet, but he eventually will and the girls will have fun trying to play it with him. So that's what I've come up with. We'll see how it goes. I'm almost done with all my Christmas shopping! Yay!

Just Being Him I guess

Rob's gone to a conference in Florida this week and so far, I'm staying reasonably sane. The girls and I even made Christmas cookies this afternoon and then decorated them after dinner. In the bathtub tonight Katherine asked me why I always play with Ben in the bath but I don't play with her. This made me sad. It's just another example of the kinds of things that go through the girls' head regarding Ben and his disabilities. The best reason I could give her is that Ben does nothing with anybody else unless someone tries to get his attention. I told her that since she and Caroline play with each other, they don't need me as much. I know they do need me in a different way that Ben does, and very often I feel they're not getting the "me" that I want them to have. On a happier note, Ben's teacher said today that he's just about mastered all the teaching tasks that they have in his classroom and she's going to have to come up with something more complex for him. That's good news. He's very quick when he knows what to do. I guess that's all for now because I'm exhausted. 'Bye.

More News From the Front

Well, Ben said something recognizable last night, but considering he's done so many times before without anything really coming of it, I try not to get my hopes or expectations up. Some bananas were on the counter out of reach and he walked over to them, got my attention and then reached for them saying "Elp, elp, elp, elp" several times. I just knew he was saying "Help me get a banana Mom! " I was pretty cool hearing him talk and understanding what he wanted. I just hope he does it again, but I'm not counting on it. It's hard not to get discouraged. I can look at my journal entries from almost a year ago and he was saying more then than he does now. It's frustrating but part of the beast that is autism, I guess. I keep saying he's progressed in other ways and he has, but speech is not a strong point for him.